Oh joy, christmas is near.

Jazlyn is a fag (=
<3

LOL. I love you too!
Anyway, nothing exciting to look forward to this year.
My fucking dad is staying home all week, so I don't get the fucking house to myself.LKSDJGSDGSDGSDG. UGH. Freaking pisses me off.

School was okay, I guess. I did pretty good on my 3 tests! Well, I hope I did. Mm, got the skit preparations for the winter rally done, and now I'm just worried about the actual SKIT. I'm scared it's gonna turn out like crap, because we havent even SEEN the people who are doing it, and they probably don't know exactly what they're doing. Whatever, bitches better not blame me if it sucks.

Went home, helped mommy out with the food. We're doing some remembering date for grandma's death. It's kinda sad how I never even met her. I wish I did though, she seems like such a nice person. She would've been one of those grandma's that bakes me cookies and stuff. =/ Too bad she died of a heart condition.


Sorry Chandni, I wish I could go to your sweet 16.
But I don't think I can.

Mymy,

I love you. I hope you feeel better. And idk why im posting in hurr. I hope you don't mind. Nobody else can read this. RIGHT...? Well k bye h0333333333!

I found a lucky penny today.

Which once again,
hella reminded me of you.
I found one on the day we started talking.

lskjdalgksdlaksdafreakingshitlaskdjgadg.

yeah, I acted GREAT at school actually. I hope you had a good day too. Anyway, my day wasn't exactly WONDERFUL. I have 3 MAJORMAJOR tests tomorrow fuck. And this winter rally skit stuff? It's hella pissing me off. Thanks for not agreeing, do whatever you want, don't put the blame on me if it sucks. Lol, I shouldn't even be working on that stuff, I'm not an officer? whateverrrr.

I'm thinking about when to apologize to you. I don't even know if you deserve one. Actually, you don't. But I'm gonna do it anyways. Just to save our friendship before things get worse.

SO LIKE, IS IT WEIRD that we were matching today? IDK, I THOUGHT IT WAS HELLA WEIRD. the day AFTER it's done, we match! Not even planned out or anythingg. You wore my favorite shoes and the outfit to the library that one day again. fuck, I miss you.
Wasn't trying to avoid you or anything. I actually wanted to have a conversation, but you walked away.

Hella people came up to me, and asked if we were okay.
Not hella, but Abraham did too. So I was like wtf? this is hella random.
Felt like crying when he brought it up, w/e.

Hole in my chest.mp3

Wow, that was hella abrupt.
It was just saturday, that we were having fun, and yesterday you were playing around with me like everything was just PEACHY. Please just admit, that you don't have the same feelings anymore. =/ It's better that way, instead of lying to yourself. No it's not that you were being a jerk, it doesn't matter if you think you're not good enough. I still felt for you the same, regardless. I've told you that many times already; I'm not afraid to get hurt again. It's happened so many times already. You're just another one of my lessons learned. I don't regret it, I was happy in the period of time that we were yeah. And it's noww, that you admit you liked me first? or idk. Just let it go okay? I'll fix things with my friends, and we'll go back to our old lives. It doesn't matter anymore, I just need time to forgive myself for this.


But honestly, everything I do reminds me of you.
Not everything, but most of it.
Cereal, crew neck sweaters, chapstick, lollipop flavored lips, webcam, even fucking blockles.
I can't stand it.
I can't even talk to you the same.
I'm trying not to make things awkward, and pretending it's okay.
you know, it's not. Why can't you just make an effort to fix things?
I'm sorry we didn't start off as friends, or stay friends.
I'm reallyreally sorry. I should've just kept it to myself.
"It's not just lust, mymy"
Wow, I hella remember that too.
The first time you tried telling me you loved me.
I seriously didn't know what to say.
And after that, you just stopped because I didn't feel the same way yet? The hell, boy, you got me hella confused. Whatever.


K, I didn't mean that.
No, you were a great guy to me. The only one that kept me up in those weeks I was down. You're so much more than I expected. I'm just being emotional right now. Sorry. Again.


First night in a while without talking to you.
It's gonna be hard to get used to.
I miss you.

And sorry if you had to read this.
I was never really a sweet girl.
Maybe that's why you got tired of me.

10 minutes.

Until I wake Matt Ganan from his nap!
Until babe finishes studying and calls me <3.


Today was uneventful.
Ish.

Happy birthday Peter Thai!
Yeah, I've only known you for a few months, the beginning of this year actually!
But it's coo and errything, I got 3 classes with you? And you've proved yourself to be a worthy friend. SO TODAY, you got your cake. kekeke, Thanks for caking me bitch.

mymy

your a fag, now i can blog on your blog. Teehee. HI BEEEYOTCH!

Santa Baby;

is my new favorite song for the season!

Anyways, I've been giddy the last couple of weeks.
I think I know why.
kekeke,

Thanks for not trashing about me, I know theres tension and all, but at least you don't publicize it on your blogs or something. And for you, idk what you have to do with this whole situation. What have I done to you? Sorry I'm sensitive. Sorry I break easily, that doesn't make me an ugly piece of shit though. But wtf? Even if I did give in, and apologize, I don't know if I could forgive you for all those things YOU'VE said. Honestly, that's 10x worse than whatever I might have done. Thanks for not confronting me when this whole shit started, thanks for taking it way out of proportion. I don't want an apology, FYI. STOP ASSUMING. ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU TRIED TELLING ME? So why the fuck are YOU assuming. Godamn. I thought we understood each other in one point of our friendship.

Whatever.

You'll be alright Jazlyn!
I love you, and I'm with you with whatever happens.
AIIGHT CUH?
with WHATEVER happens.
& I'd also like to forgive you for your stupidity, because if I was in that situation you'd be hella worried about me too.

[17:01] jazlynsaywhat: well for one
[17:01] jazlynsaywhat: YOU GUYS
[17:01] jazlynsaywhat: HAVE LOTS IN COMMON!
[17:01] MYMYubl0wmyMiND: lol....
[17:01] MYMYubl0wmyMiND: like
[17:01] MYMYubl0wmyMiND: really?
[17:02] jazlynsaywhat: uhm
[17:02] jazlynsaywhat: 1. you guys both have legs.
[17:02] jazlynsaywhat: 2. you guysboth have eyes.
[17:02] jazlynsaywhat: 3. you guys both know the coolest person ever, JAZLYN
[17:02] MYMYubl0wmyMiND: HAHAHAHAHA
[17:02] jazlynsaywhat: LMAO! <33
[17:02] MYMYubl0wmyMiND: HAHAHAHAHAA
[17:02] jazlynsaywhat: you love me


slike, what DO we have in common.
Besides the obvious.

It's not important that we don't have much in common.
Like really. It was just something I was just thinking about.
LOL, BOY YOU GOT ME THINKINNN'
almost all the time now.

BADBADBAD.
'cause I needa focus on my studies and shit. You should know that!

Yesterday was my abc club activity. Lol, I hope Kristie doesn't fry my ass for not contributing too much. kekeke. Whatevsss, hmm. The whole beginning, I kept Ross company, and he was being a little bitch, getting me all anxious to see Eric. God, I wanna slap him for it. BUT THATS OKAY. Violence is not the answer! Thanks for coming,love. Sorry if it made you ditch your friends. We had fun though! like LOTSANDLOTS. Sometimes I wonder if THAT'S all you like me for. Because it sure seems like it. I hate how you get mad at me over little things though. =/ Or you're just playing around, and I'm being paranoid. AGAIN. But on a good note, I have veryveryvery strong feelings <3. And for some reason, I can never get tired of you. It's hard going to bed without a phone call! Lol, it's hard going through a whole day without texting you. It's hard not being able to see you, get hugs, and give little kisses. Idk, they mean a lot to me, maybe not for you. But yeahh.

I got what I wanted for Christmas already!
kekkeke.
kinda. I haven't made a materialistic wishlist yeettttt.
And it's just around the cornerrr, shiieett.


Kay, back to blogging about the Joy Luck Club, fuckk.

Greenberries.

I guess it's done for me.
Sorry you guys.
I'm sorry.


I thought you'd support me with this.
But I guess not.
I'm too much of a flirt, so you're afraid I'll hurt HIM?
since when were you more concerned about ME hurting boys?
Usually, it was always the other way around.

If I do, I'll learn from it.
It's my life, and I know you tried telling me, but I didn't need the extra attitude.
Sorry for assuming.
Sorry for telling him shit about not liking him.
It would've been better if I'd known straightup.


And honestly, I did NOT say that dirty shit.
I didn't spread rumors about 'not looking at us the same way'
I probably told someone about MY story, but not yours.

I don't why you didn't confront me the moment you heard about this..
But instead you treated me like I wans't even there.

Whatever.

Sorry you guys.

Eric Pacada.

So while I'm doing my homework.
I'd just like to tell you how much shit I've been going through ever since we've started talking.

But it's what I've been thinking about for the past few days.
It's not necessarily a bad thing.


Worth it?
Idk yet.

Because I'm being REALLY serious about this,
I'm risking hella for you.
I hope you know that.

No more flirting.
Lockdownn for a while, until I can control myself again.


It's been 2 weeks exactly! I think.
Ever since November 24th, 2008.
I never knew you'd turn out to be such a deep guy.
I never expected someone that cared so much.
You tell me how much I mean to you, and I believe you. <3
I wish I knew what I've done to make you feel this way.
I wish I knew exactly WHY I feel for you, I just do!

Yeah, it's been a hella short time.
So why am I doing this?
Why am I risking so much, and why am I putting myself out there again?
Because the blatant truth is I really do like you.
Idk, I've done alot of stupid things in the past.

I hope you're not another mistake.
To be honest, I'm really scared of losing you.












Fuck you Ross Tran.
I don't care if he loved you first.
He's mine now. keekekeeke.

Lovers&Friends.

Dear December,
I love your month second best out of the twelve that exist!
It's the atmosphere of chills, red noses, and the gift of love that make me feel all fuzzy inside.
Be proud.

But it's fucking cold nowadays, and I don't have a lover too mooch a jacket off of. Goddamn, whattafunsucker.

I feel like we're drifting. Are you sure we're as tight as we should be?
You're keeping things away from me, I can feel it.
I know I'm doing things that probably upset you, but does that really matter?
Shouldn't you just be happy for me that I'm having fun?
I can't just readily admit that I have feelings, I honestly don't know if I do or not.
You can't just force me to say that.
What happened to us? I'd really like to know. I'm kinda scared to confront you though, you might think I'm pathetic and drop me like you did to ___________.
=/

I hope things get mended before Christmas time comes.
I really miss you guys.


Thanks.
I know we haven't been talking for that long.
But I like where we are.
It's funny how we just randomly started opening up, and pouring out all this stuff on each other.
You're kinda quiet in person though.
It wasn't like that before.. I hope I don't make you feel awkward or anything.
I wish it could be the same way we talk everywhere else.




Sorry, I'm sitting here crying, thinking I'll lose all the friends I've just gained this year. But wtf? It doesn't have to happen. I'm just scared.
I'll straightup say it.
I hate that we're not friends anymore, Alison.
It just feels weird.
Today, I finally let it out.
I'm sorry.

Thanksgiving.

I'll just blog about everything starting concert day.
Everything I remember at least.

November 21, 2008 was our "Hey!Didn't I See You on Youtube?" concert, which I was working my fcking ASSSS off on, selling tickets, advertising, posters. idk that shit. But it all paid off in the end. Sophomores won the ticket selling the contest. So we got more of the profit! But we lost money on those posters, and then made it up with the profits we earned. kekekeke, yeaaahhh. It's okay. I got to meet Reynard Silva, Gabe Bondoc, Cable Car Stars, and Lori Abucayan. SO ITS ALL GOOD. ANDANDAND OMFG. Spindizzy, the mfcking cute dj gave me his number because I was his favorite that night. YEEEE SONN. no lie. He even texted back! kekeke. yeahh, I was giddy and shit. Came home, got yelled at by parents. Whatevs.

Also, that one Kindred essay was due. Our english class spent over a week working on it. I hope I got a good grade on it. It felt so good to get it off my chest.

Novmeber 24th.
I think it was today.
That you finally noticed me. ;]

November 26th.
Half day/first day of Thanksgiving break.
In the morning, it wasn't raining, so I was pretty lucky to have P.E. first period and run in the dry weather. But later onn, it started pouringg and shit, wasted my whole afternoon. I was supposed to go hangout with Lillian. Sigh, oh well. It's okay. I ended up calling my dad to pick me up because mother was out shopping or something. Idk. I really hate going places with him. The car ride was awkward/ annoying, the usual nagging about studying and school. Uhm, later he took me to greatmall to get my phone switched back to my old number, and then to send in my blackberry. Sigh. I'm waiting on Abbas's glyde.

November 27th/28th.
I laid around all day, reading Breaking Dawn. Got through it halfway while texting jazlyn/kasey/lilian/pacada. AND THENNNNNNNN when the clock struck 10P.M. ALLAA MY GRUHSSS showed up at my house for black friday shopping! We went to greatmall at 11 and waited at gate 2 so we could be the first ones in to forever 21, and get free shit. Once we got there, hella girls pushed and shoved us at the doors. It was fcking crazzy, but me and Janine held on to each other hella tight until we got through the doors. =] I didn't get the coupon thing, but I got the free shit anyways. LOL. one for each of us! It was Jazlyn, Janine, Kasey, Lillian, and Michelle, and me. yeah, I got a whole bunch of stuff at H&M, and saw spindizzy! haha, I hugged him, and of course he remembered me! got me all giddy for a minute or so there. We kept seeing like 3209423434 people that we knew. It got KINDAAA annoying, but oh well. Anyway, so we got home at 3A.M. and then me, jazlyn, and janine went over to Lillian's at 5 A.M. and went to Valley Fair. LOLL. mm, we shopped til 11 P.M. I don't know how the hell we managed. But we were all mfcking delusional. JAZLYN . OH GEEZ JAZLYN WAS THE FUNNIEST. SHE KEPT LAUGHING AT NOTHING. HAHAHAHA AND ACTING ALL DIZZY AND SHIITT. kasey lillian and michelle seemed to have managed fine. geez, freaks. =] We didn't buy alot of stuff. Well, they did. I didn't. mm, went home at like 12 30? and took a long ass nap til 5. Fucking janine and jazlyn drew on my face during my nap. Bitches. I woke up with pink highlighter all over my left cheek. hahhaah.

In the end, I just want you guys to know that I love you.
No lie.
That was my first real all nighter, and I was glad I spent it with you!
It was more of a girlbonding time, I'd have to say, even though we did have hella fun.
You're the closest friends I've had in these 15 years of life.
I hope we don't get into childish fights and lose it to something stupid, like accidentally 'ditching' or some shit.

CUUHHHZ WE BE BEASTINN AS THE MFCKING GREEENBERRIESS.

P.s. Thanks, I hated running into you at Urban. It would've been so different if we were still friends. You would've been WITH us, not with your brother and his friends. You would've been watching Jazlyn go crazy over her pie. You could've spent quality time with Janine. I know you don't really fit in with the others. But at least try..Janine isn't that close to them, but she's still having fun. If you're reading this, I bet all you're thinking right now is 'I don't give a fuck, I don't want to spend time with you guys.' Idk. Whatever. I really do miss you. But I don't know why you have to be so stubborn. I made one mistake. I'm sorry I left you at Aids Walk. I thought you would've just tagged along, but I guess not. I didn't trash about you, I heard that you were the one trashing about ME, and I got mad so I guess things slipped. I don't know why you can't forgive me, I don't know why you're not talking to Jazlyn. Isn't it weird for us not to be friends? The first time you got mad at me, you apologized saying 'I have this problem. It's called being an asshole' I remmeber it hella clearly because I wasted 2 weeks trying so hard to get you to forgive me. It was over a dumb reason too. I'm not gonna go through with that anymore. Until you're ready to talk to me this time, I'll be ready to forgive. Just know that, this whole animosity is really childish.


November 29th.
Thanks mom and dad.
Thanks for pressuring me so hard to do good in life.
I don't need anymore insults on how stupid I am.
I think I can realize it for myself.

Sorry you're pregnant.
Actually, sorry you're giving birth today.
Sorry we have a fucked up family.
Sorry your baby won't know who her real daddy is.
I'm just really sorry, dad won't even let me be there for you.
I really want to.
I can't even imagine what you're going through.

Fail.

ew, today's trip to Bell sucked. Like alot.
I'm sorry you guys, my parents ruin everything.
Just go without me next time.

It was nice seeing the guys,
Desmond, Matt, Mark, Russell, Shao, haha you knoww, the boys from summer school.
Anyways, I miss your hugs dude, no one hugs me like that anymore. Freals.
haha, I DIDN'T WANNA LET GO. I blame you.





Do you even care what I'm feeling?
It's not a game.
I'm a person with a heart that shouldn't be toyed with.
I got better things to worry about than you.
You're just another distraction.
Thanks.


I miss you my INDIAN FRIEND.
HAHAHAHAHHAh <3


& History Channel brings out all the evidence on the end of the world on
December 21, 2012.

Apparently, in the ancient times, these wack old people prophesized futuristic inventions/wars/monuments that are existing TODAY. Also, their predictions all ended at the exact date of December 21, 2012. The winter solstice is supposed to occur, and the whole planet is supposed to flip upside down, causing the poles to be on opposite sides of the earth and everything to be destroyed.

How freakish. I needa start living life, for another 4 years. Just in case.

How depressing.

So I've noticed how most of my blogs are sad, and prettty shitty. No, my life isn't alll just shit. I tend to vent my feelings through this whenever I'm sad so it'd make me feel better. I guess it's not as important to blog about every time I'm happy. ahah how lame.

Today was uneventful. Woke up, got ready for Viet school. Came to class late to find that I was the only teacher there today. Poor kids. They were so confused. I got started off with the lesson, and crammed in as much I could in the first hour. Later, I had to rush through grading papers and whatnot. Haha, got to spend funtime with the kids! Apparently they like me better than the older teachers. ORR THEY'RE JUST BULLSHITTING ME. ahahhaa, whateverrrr, made my day. It was prettty cute. mmm, went home and took a napp. Lol, I have this problem with eating too much. -____-

Yeah I know I'm in denial.
I don't want it to happen JAZLYN.
I know I'll get hurt.
kekekkee,

I want you exlcusive <3

Four day weekend.

better be great.
I need this shit to clear my mind.
So anyways, I guess today was alright.
School was cool and all, until dad came to pick me up.
Whatever.
Forget it, same shit happens all the time.
Why can't you be proud of what I am already?


Random thoughts.
1. I'm really glad, we were able to catch up. WINKWINK.
2. Thanks. I just need you to talk to someone I can trust.
3. Maybe really badbadbad karma's gonna get you back.
4. Hi cutie, can I holla?
5. Stop flirting with me, it's kinda retarded how you think I be all over your jock.
6. I miss you. Why are we from different worlds?
7. Let's be more than friends.
8. I wonder if guys ever do what girls do on myspace.
9. Hi Kasey, I hope you do well in your pageant, it was empty today.
10. Mfckers better ship me my phone by tomorrow morning.
11. Can we stop with this weird break in friendship? Idk why we're still mad at each other.
12. You're so smart. I'm jealous of you.
13. Please stop thinking about him, it's making me worried.
14. I really hope I can make it Tues.
15. Can I just touch you? You're so mfcking FINEEE.
16. Goddamn, this girl can sing.
17. Hold my hand again? I kinda liked it. ;D
18. I'm feeling very unloved lately.
19. AHHAHAHA, THIS IS KINDA PATHETIC.
20. Shut the fuck up, you need to grow up too, we're in high school now.
21. I need to get that A in english.
22. YES WE CAN !

Happy Birthday Lex.

I'm sorry today was so crappy for you.
Idk, I bet you school was fun.
I hate it how our parents ruin everything.
I really wanted to surprise you with a cake, and do something nice for once.
I'm sorry.

Today, you're 11. Another year closer to getting out of the fcking house.
Don't worry, we'll get there.


Who am I to you?
I'm not a fucking dog.
NO, you wouldn't even treat an animal like that.
I'm not a fucking punching bag, you have no right to push me around like that.
I've taken enough abuse.
It's been 15 years, and I've lived with it my whole life.
I put up with these tears every week, and you don't even care.
I've taken you as an example for what I WON'T grow up into.
I don't need you to tell me I'm stupid.
I'm not stupid, I've been pressured enough, and I can't take it anymore.
You won't be the thanks for when I'm grown and successful.
I don't love you.
I know it.
I'm sorry.

OBAMA BITCH.

So today, he won.
=]

And I just thought, it'd be nice to save this moment in history and appreciate the first African American president of the United States.

I feel pointless.

It's November already, and I realized I don't put much of an effort to blog on a regular basis. Lol. It's like an average of 3 blogs every month. How sad. Anyways, I ended October with a wonderful Halloween with my lovers Jazlyn, Janine and Lillliannnn. kekekke. We went out for HSM3, went home, trickortreated, ate spaghetti, chatted, did the usual girl stuff. It was nice to spend some quality time with them. haha felt good. I miss you Janine! I hella wished you went to PHHS. It's funny how are friendship is so tight, even though were rarely see each other? But I love it! So no matter. Anyways, Lex's birthday is in a couple days, and I'm trying to plan a surprise party for him. SO FAR: FAIL. aslkdjgalsdg. sighh, stupid little boy. I just have to care so much.

Life at school has been okay, I guess.
There isn't much to look forward to anymore, haha. I don't have a lover waiting to see my face everyday. Just the everyday people that probably wouldn't mind that much if I wasn't there.

I'm sorry I'm such a bad friend. I want to fix this, but if I try, I know you won't accept an apology. What else can I do?

I'm sorry I treated you like my 'rebound'. or whatever you thought I did. I didn't mean it to be like that. I swear. You meant way more to me than that. I miss those talks we used to have. I can't even give you a proper hug anymore.

I'm glad we're closer, I know I could turn to you for anything.
haha, would it be weird if you knew I had a crush on you before?
But you were so perfect, it was so hard to imagine.
It's okay. ALLL of that is history. I swear ! =]
LOLLLL.

I really wish you meant every word you said.
It'd be the highlight of my sophomore year to be with someone like you.

I love you. Please don't let little things hurt you. It hurts me more to see you like this.

I hate girls. I hate being a girl.
Fck it, lets get sex changes.

sike.


AHhaha, well now THAT's over with.
Let's start off this month FRE$H.

Jazlyn Evangelista.

You are one of the truest friends I will EVER have.
I know it.
I'm sure.
It'll never change, I promise.
And this feels like a lesbian moment.
BUT $UCK IT.
anyways.



jazlynsaywhat (8:14:24 PM): I'll always be here for you 24/7, thrru thick and thin, rain or shine! I PROMISE<3. Hope to die or else ill stick a neeedle in mai eye. And I won't ever think of you differently. Based on what you do(well it depends). But im talking about like yeah. Because! Everybody makes mistakes. And things just happen. And we can't take them back as much as we want to we just can't. What is done is done. And you are still and forever will be MYMY TRAN MFKIN NGUYEN one of my closets and bestestEST friends fo' lyfe. Thee, one and only. Thee hyperactive, giddy, short little kid, muy intelligente, beautiful, & huge hearted. Nothing will ever change that. If you lose your virginty today or tomorrow. Nothing will change. Because who am I to judge you? When we all make mistakes. And like the saying goes what matters most is what you do after the mistake. Or something like that. And fuck all the haters. They can say all the shit they want. As long as you say true to yourself. And don't let what they say get imprinted in your brain. Like some people think this and that of me. But yes it does get to me. But idgafuck. Cos' i know who I AM. Thats all that really matters? &yeeeeeeyuh.





Thankyou for everything.
I'm glad your friends with me because you know what's real.
Ily.

Relieved.

It's been a while, since I've been able to open up.
And it feels good.


You're the only one that makes me wish I was pretty.

Hectic.

This week has been by far the busiest week yet. Everyday of the week I had some test the next day, hc painting to work on, csf interview, being transferred into a fucking hard spanish class. Idk, all the stress and pressure just built up. Not to mention those wasted minutes thinking about you. Friday ended with an in class essay which I needed to get an A on, and right now I'm doubting myself. The football game was after school, but Jazlyn decided to take us to her house for the FIRST TIME EVER! I would've been more excited if it wasn't for that essay. Whatever. Anyways, when we got there, we found her doggie in the backyard and it was SO CUTE. Too bad Jazlyn sucks at being an owner. One day, I'm gonna kidnap her dog and take her home. Pebbles <3 so cute. anyways, it was hella mfcking hot, but we walked back to the game. and after a little while of waiting, I decided I needed a drink. When I was standing in line deciding on what to drink, DESMOND COMES IN AND RUNS TO ME WITH OPEN ARMS <3. And we just stood there hugging for like who knows how long. I miss that kid! Anyways, Dan and Chris Shao came behind him, and I gave them their hugs tooooo. Later on, me and lilz went to go buy pizza at pizza hut, that disappeared hella fast. The game went by pretty fast, and of course we lost to Bellarmine. Whatever though. By the time varsity game started, hella bell kids came and sat on the PIEDMONT side. wtfeezy, being all disrepectful and shit. Stupid freshman. hahahah, it's all good though. Simos was standing right there watching Alan staring the bell kids down and didn't even bother to stop them. He was just lookinn pisseddd. yeah, but it was good seeing all the bellguys again. Big Eric was there too! I was like wtf?!!? cause I saw him at the end of the game and he was like "MYMY!" out of nowhere! The aftermath of the game wasn't that great. But it's okay. I guess everything worked out today.


I sat at home all day, reading and having some time to myself.
It just made me realize how stupid I am, to keep making the wrong decisions.
I never know what is right, or maybe I do know but I really didn't want to follow it just because it felt right at that moment. I'm sorry. It's not like you feel the same anyways, it's not like you'll ever read this. It's not like you'll ever look at me the same and wish you were mine. It's not like anything you ever said was true. It's not like I can look in your eyes from across the room, and tell what you're thinking anymore. You never notice that I try, just for you. I feel pathetic for it, but I want to make YOU regret it. I wish you could come back and tell me everything's okay. I wish you could just talk to me again like how we used to. I thought I could tell you everything, but I guess not.

I'm upset with life at the moment.

Thanks Chupper!

MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:45:03 PM): DUDE
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:45:04 PM): WE HAVE
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:45:04 PM): LIKE
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:45:09 PM): 20394234 CLASSES TOGETHER
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:45:10 PM): SHIET PETER.
Petard xD (10:46:28 PM): LOL
Petard xD (10:46:28 PM): STALKER
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:46:33 PM): bitch
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:46:34 PM): please
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:46:38 PM): you followed me
Petard xD (10:46:42 PM): dude stop calling me bitch change that to master
Petard xD (10:46:44 PM): please
Petard xD (10:46:48 PM): you wish
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:47:24 PM): Omg.
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:47:28 PM): stop.
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:47:29 PM): just stop.
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:47:31 PM): youaint my master.
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:47:36 PM): my master has balls.
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:47:37 PM): sorry
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:47:38 PM): you dont.
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:47:40 PM): KEKEKEKEKEE
Petard xD (10:47:43 PM): damn striaght he does
Petard xD (10:47:52 PM): i got 2 and an anaconda
ATTENTION (10:49:46 PM):You are about to be rate limited. Please wait a few seconds before sending, to avoid being rate limited.ATTENTION (10:49:50 PM):You are no longer rate limited, and you may now send messages.MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:49:59 PM): UGH
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:50:00 PM): GROSS
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:50:02 PM): GROSS
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:50:04 PM): PLEASE
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:50:07 PM): ANACONADA?
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:50:07 PM): EW
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:57:43 PM): its for you
Petard xD (10:59:21 PM): back


Auto Response from MYMYubl0wmyMiND (10:59:21 PM): GROW A MFCKING PENIS.

THERE AINT NOTHIN TO TRIP OVER.
PSSSSSSSH.


Petard xD (10:59:22 PM): what
Petard xD (10:59:22 PM): ?
Petard xD (10:59:30 PM): LOL
Petard xD (10:59:31 PM): PLEASE
Petard xD (10:59:34 PM): YOU TRIP ALL THE TIME
Petard xD (10:59:37 PM): YEAH THAT AINT MY FOOT
Petard xD (10:59:38 PM): AHAHAHAHAH
Petard xD (10:59:47 PM): jk jk that shit would be so nasty
Petard xD (10:59:47 PM): -.-
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:00:38 PM): ...
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:01:02 PM): OH
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:01:03 PM): WHAT
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:01:04 PM): NOW

Petard xD (11:01:23 PM): WHAT


Auto Response from MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:01:23 PM): stupid bitch.

It's not like anything's there.
ACTING ALL HARD.
SHIEETT.


Petard xD (11:01:28 PM): I STILL GOT AN ANACONDA
Petard xD (11:01:42 PM): PLEASEEE
Petard xD (11:01:47 PM): I CAN MAKE SOMETHING HARD
Petard xD (11:01:51 PM): YES


Auto Response from MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:01:51 PM): WHY WOULD YOU BRAG ABOUT THAT.



Petard xD (11:01:56 PM): YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:02:38 PM): what
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:02:39 PM): is it
Petard xD (11:02:48 PM): I TOLD YOU


Auto Response from MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:02:48 PM): Thanks chupper <3.


Petard xD (11:02:55 PM): MY PENIS
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:02:59 PM): youre funny
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:03 PM): im posting this on myspace
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:05 PM): HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:07 PM): HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Hh
Petard xD (11:03:08 PM): OMG
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:08 PM): hAHAHAhAHAHA
Petard xD (11:03:10 PM): DON'T
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:10 PM): HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
Petard xD (11:03:12 PM): i swear
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:13 PM): HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Petard xD (11:03:14 PM): i won't talk to you
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:15 PM): HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Petard xD (11:03:16 PM): ever again
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:18 PM): LMFAO
Petard xD (11:03:19 PM): you cna count on it
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:19 PM): LMFAO
Petard xD (11:03:20 PM): !
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:20 PM): LMFOA
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:22 PM): LMFAO
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:23 PM): LMFAO
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:24 PM): <3
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (11:03:25 PM): LKSDJLGSKDg
Petard xD (11:03:27 PM): OKAY I BLOCKS
Petard xD (11:03:30 PM): DUN DUN DUN
Petard xD (11:03:35 PM): BB
Petard xD (11:03:38 PM): I NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN

Regret.

I've been living the last couple weeks in regret, and pain. It's been bouncing back and forth between problems with the family, and problems with high school. I know I should be happy with what I have, because others in third world countries aren't as fortunate as I am. But there's a difference. I know there is. I just haven't figured it out yet. We live to please ourselves, our emotions. That's the only fcking reason I try so hard in school. I don't wanna feel like I'm useless and stupid. I wanna be the best person I can be. Be myself, show people I'm more than just a little girl who wants to have fun. There's more to a person than meets the eye. I've learned it the hard way, I've figured things out for myself, I've made mistakes. So many mistakes that I regret. I'm in the stage of looking for a bestfriend again, or just a friend that'll be by my side all the time. Idk, that sounds a bit clingy. Just someone I can tell everything too, and won't be judged for. I wish life wasn't so complicated, and I hate that I'm complaining so much right now, because things might get even worse later on. I feel like I'm not actually ever loved. By anyone. Maybe that's not true. But it's how aloof people are, about what they think that makes me want to try harder to be liked. So wtf..? It shouldn't be like this. I end up sad, and make things even worse. I miss the way things were when I was younger, when drama was just a crush breaking my heart. Those things don't even matter to me anymore. All those stupid tears feel so wasted.

I'm sorry if I hurt you.
I know you won't read this, but I'm trying my hardest.
I'm sorry I messed up.
I'm sorry life's so harsh right now.
I miss you.
I want our friendship back.

Just another day.

I hate how one of the major problem these days is having to be bored. I want to grow up faster, but at the same time I don't, and I'm going through that stupid teenage stage. But then again, what kid doesnt.. Sigh. I wish I had a better family, a nicer environment to live in. I wish my friends wouldn't have to be so complicated, and I wish life could be lived the way it should be. Why do we have to follow rules that our parents make up? It doesn't help us in any way. So wtfuck.
At least school was nice.
I wore my lanyard cause Jazlyn told me to, and Macasaet gave us extra credit for it !
ahah, Luc had a quiz prepared for us, but we ended up not taking it. kekeke, uhmm I got to spend time with Alison/Rachel during break and stuff. I was feelin all giddy and screamish. Until I got home.

WHAT A DEPRESSING POST.
GEEZ.

I hate haircuts.

First week complete.

WELL, it felt like a longggg weeek. But it was only 4 days? haha, and we have a 3 day weekend already. Hella people were in line for transferring classes, and I felt bad for the counsellors. Sigh, well today I came to school hella early to go see Mrs. Jones/Ms. Woods. And all that approval shit for transferring. It didnt go that well in the morning, but I got it done, and starting Tuesday I have 7 classes because of leadership! yayyyy ! haaha, so hella changes at Phhs. We're so fcking ghetto now. No lockers/ no library? Geez. I went to help out in there to clear out those books. It was so sad deleting the copies off the system. Sigh. And those books were just being given away. Anyways, I think I'm gonna be pushing myself even harder this year. I'm already so tired when I get home, I don't know what the rest of the year's gonna do to me. mmm, we had a rally today tooo. freaking freshman have such freaking spirit. All of them kiddies were wearing yellowww so I was getting annoyed at these unspirited sophomores. LOLLL. It wasnt that greatttt, could've been better. Whatever. So this week, I've made some new friends. Got closer to others. Idk. I guess it's okay. I have a feeling hella drama's on the way. Haven't met a guy I could be into yet. But whatever, I got a whole year to go. haha, I'm glad I fixed things with you. I'm sorry for the awkward first 2 days. =/ I think it was just me. I needed my time, and I just wasn't ready to face you yet. I hope we'll go back to normal soon.


Peter Thai is a fag.
asasdga that has 3 mfcking classes with me.
HAAH. WTFEEZY BEEZZY.

This weather annoys me. It's scorching hot. sighh.

Last Day.

I wish I spent it doing something exciting.
But I didn't. I blame it on dad.
Stayed home all day, doing chores and cleaning.
Sigh,hella tired and I'm about to crash for school tomorrow.
Excited/Nervous/anxious.
idk.

Goooddnighttt Summor 08.

Goodbye Summerrr '08.

yeah, it was spent well.
Today was Lillian's BBQ, and ohh mannn it was FUN. Apparently, there was another party going on, at townsend park. But it's all cool. It was greaat. Around like 3, mi padre dropped me off, and he saw Lilz brother's friends and FREAKED out. So whatever, I went inside with Lilz and the Kasey, Jasmine, her cousin, Jimmy, Thi were playing ROCKBANDD. YEEEEE. and so I was watching them for a while. Then got some bbq with kaseyyy. mm, we ate so FREAKING muchhhh. Like watermelons, and chips, and meat, and coffeee jellooo. MMMM.YUMYUMYUM. We plugged in the boomboxx, and got Lillians rooom PUMPED. We did the cinnamon challenge, chubby bunny, and had a TEASPOON OF TABASCO. ddaaayumm straight. SPICY SHITTT. so it hella burned my throat, and I ran outside screaming for milk. Dropped my usb on the way, and Ben picked it up. Couldn't believe he remember me though! hahaha. A little bit later, eric and hao came on their bikes. So me kasey and eric went to pick flowers for lilliannn. CAUSE ERIC MADE HER MAAADDD the night before. yeah, they were really cute actually. haha, poor guy, I hope he feels better after such a rough day. He gave it to her later,but she didnt like it. i guess, IDK SHE PROLLY DID. hahhahahah. mmm, we played with waterballoons .. ish. kinda. idk. wasnt that fun. But Eric got me . sigh. it was stupid. Whatever, I had that party mood on, and kept screaming like every ten minutes. LOLOLOLOL. OH WELLL. and, Jasmine tells me I'm a hella messy eater. So true. mannnn. Back in lillian's room,we just screwed arounddd, talked, teddybear fights, idk. just chillinnnn. ;D
People left around 7? so it ended up being just me kasey lilz, andrew, jimmy, eric ,hao? yeah. poor Bao and Long were just kinda there. =/ didn't seem like they had much fun. But it was nice they showed up! the rest of the time, we just hungout in lillians room. =x ;D

mm, 9 30 dad came and picked me up. Had a s'more from lillian's brother's friend's campfire thing. whatever . it was pretty sickkkkk.

So anyways, that pretty much wrapped up my summer.
I didn't get to do everything I wanted to, but then again, when does that ever happen? Idk. 2 more days until school. And I have to admit, I'm pretty excited.
=]


P.S. Desmond tells me I should blog about him.
SOO, here i go. I hope you had a fun summer kiddddooooooo.
Stop being so freaking dirty all the time.
You need some new activities.
KEKEKEKEKE. ROFLCOPTER FTW.

Just another summer day.

Stolen from Mark Luciano!
Yeah, so today's been a day for hella rethinking. I decided to do this in the spare time I have !

Ten people (Random)
1) I wish our parents weren't like this.
2) I love you, I honestly do. Closest thing to a bestfriend I've had this year.
3) Sometimes you're too stubborn, but I don't wanna lose you.
4) Thanks for listening to my boring drama. ;]
5) Can't you just leave me alone?
6) Do you really think we're bestfriends?
7) Sorry if I annoy you.
8) I'm glad we're alot closer now. No more hard feelings!
9) You make me so jealous; you're everything I want to be/have.
10)I hope things work out with us. I have this gut feeling about you. She's not the one.

Nine things about yourself
1) I am 4 11
2) I am Vietnamese.
3) I like the color green!
4) I trust too easily sometimes.
5) SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE.
6) I like to take lots and lots of pictures.
7) I don't have a reason to be hated, but I guess I am.
8) I'm reallllllly hyper sometimes !
9) I like to meet new people

Eight ways to win your heart
1) Let yourself go, and be completely comfortable with me.
2) Make me laugh.
3) Surprise me with random things.
4) Stand up for me in front of your friends.
5) Show me that you care.
6) Make me wonder.
7) Take me out to something exciting.
8) Atleast tryyyy to lookd cute . ;] KEKEKE

Seven things that cross your mind a lot
1) I wish I was rich.
2) I want Chris Pham's family.
3) I needa stop eating so much.
4) Him.
5) Why are boys such dicks?
6) Hair.
7) I want to be taller.


Six things you wish you never did
1) Mess with emotions.
2) Waste so much money on clothes.
3) Getting into so many fights with you.
4) Chose to go to public school. but its all good now.
5) Post those videos up on youtube. -_-
6) Get into such a bad habit of _____________.


Five likes of opposite sex
1) cute face.
2) nicebod/clothes.
3) OUTGOING/spontaneous.
4) bodyspray.
5) smartsss.

Four turn offs
1) Pushover.
2) Clingy.
3) Sloppy style
4) Ignorant.

Three smilies that describe your life momentarily
1) =|
2) =/
3) ;D

Two things you want to do before you die
1) Become something successful, and worth my time of slaving away in studying.
2) Marry my love.

One confession
1) I think I really like you. I don't wanna ruin things right now.

August 15th.

So its 35 minutes past August 15th.
Today was wonderful. I wasn't expecting anything nearrrr the fun I had today. In the morning, I did chores,and ran over to keny's house for a swim. mm, it was prettyy chilll, had some deeeep converstaions with kathy. Lololol. yeahh, so then I came home took a shower, and waited for Jazlyn to come over so we could go shopping for schoolclothes ! bahha. She comes at like 2 30 ?AND BRINGS ME FLOWERS AND CUPCAKES AND BALLOONS. OMFG. I FUCKING LOVE HER. SO MUCH. alksjdglakjg. first time, ANYONES EVER bought me flowers. Made me feel so loved. ;] mm, yeahh, so my dad came home, and took us to greatmall, and we went shopping around at f21 and loveculture. Got VNECKS. YEEE. lololol. THEN WHEN I WAS JUST ABOUT TO PAY, LILLIAN COMES UP BEHIND ME, AND COVERS MY EYES WITH THIS CREEPY OLD MAN VOICE. LOL. KINDAA creeeeppy ! ;D YEAHH, SO After loveee cultureeee, we walked around bought some more stuff. I finally got my flatss! yayayyay! these black ones that actually fit me. ;D MM, We went to bath&body works to get some AROMATHERAPY. cause alison said it makes you have good dreams. omg. I reallllly want to try that. But me and kasey kept smelling around for a nice scent but they were all so strong. got me hellla dizzzy and shit. LOLOL. BUT THENN THE REST OF THE DAAYY WE WERE HELLA LAUGHING AT RANDOM SHIT. THENNN, we went to get smoothies at SurfCity. LOL. KASEY . JOEY DIAMOND SPAZSPAZSPAZ. HAHAHAHAHA. HES NOT THAT GREAT ANYMORE. The thrill wears offf. KEKEKEK. yeahh, and by the time we knew it, it was already 8! YEAH. AND FOR THE LAST HALF AN HOUR. WE WERE RUNNING AROUND,HIDING, SPAZZING, HIDING. FROM WINKWINK. YOU KNOW WHO- s.... ROFLMFAOMFLAFMLAMFOAMFLAMO. we're such retards. MM, Dad picked us up, we went to round tables. Bought some maui zaui. went back home,ate it and watched jazlyn's tongue burn up over buffalo wings. BAHHAA. FREAKING HILARIOUS. Then her tummy started hurting. AND SHE HELD HER PEE IN FOR THE WHOLE DAY. LOLOLOL. mmm, then just chilled around and HELLLLA CAMERA WHORED til the parents picked them up. ;] It's amazing how spending time together at the mall can make girls bond so much. ;] Like honestly, I never spent QUALITY time with lillian and kasey before. BUT, IT SEEMS LIKE WE'RE SO CLOSE . omg. welll, webcamming til like 5 AM with lillian every night sure does say alot.;] kekekeke. <3>