Change.

Mm,I hope you surf around and still check this blog from time to time. Well, here goes. There hasn't been one day, ever since we've broken our friendship that I haven't thought about what I've done. There hasn't been one day that I haven't regretted making my dumb decisions. In the back of my mind, I'm always waiting for the chance to straightup tell him off, and scream all my feelings out. And I mean SCREAM, it wouldn't even help, he wouldn't even listen. But you know what? At least he'll get a taste of how much this is draining me out. Moving on? Oh, nono. I'm trying right? But it's not working. You were that much of an impact on me and you still know it. And whatever you heard? Idk, maybe the reason I didn't tell you was the exact reason you left me for. Maybe I didn't want to overload you with all of my shit, but I guess I already did.

"Its times like these where, I would need you the most, I would call you, you would give me your usual words of comfort, make me laugh, tell me everythings gonna be okay, & be my lifeline. These are the times when I miss you more than ever."

yeah, me too. You don't even know. I look like I'm fine right? Sike. I'd just rather not have myself look pathetic, and have people feeling sorry for me. I don't need any more of that.
And yeah, I read your blog, being the little stalker I am.

"So tell me why whenever I start thinking about you, missing you, wanting to talk you, regretting the past, anything along those lines I hear of something that just changes my mind completely. And all I feel is anger and disappointment. *Sigh. I’m tired of this. How could you not of told me? “Maybe Its just fate.” Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. Can you just stop? Please just stop pushing me away further and further. Its not getting better. At all."

Maybe if you were just straightup. You know I'd be okay with you telling me off. I know that's not the kind of person you are, but if it really meant that much to you, I think it's okay to look past that? I just wish I knew what you were thinking.